Today My Husband Bought a Truck and My Life Feels Different
I've been spending a lot of time and energy lately in trying to shift my perspective of my purpose in life. It's been pretty difficult, because a lot of who I am (or who I was, I should say) is rooted in some pretty limiting beliefs. One mental shift I've really been focusing on fine-tuning recently is my understanding of finances and how I receive and spend money.
I've always been blessed with the money I needed, but of course I always wanted for more; not because it was necessary to my life, but because jealousy and comparison and media all play a part in the way we see our lives going and the type of life WE think will make us the most happy. I think lots of people struggle with this, me included. I've spent years focusing my thoughts on getting to what I want in life and not trusting that a plan for me has already been set, and recently I've been realizing that it really is just up to me to actually live and fulfill whatever greater purpose I am meant to have.
The past few months I've spent some time really studying how to have a relationship with the universe, God, whatever you call it, to understand my own purpose, and with that has come some research into the Law of Attraction: the idea that what you put out into the universe will come back to you.
I've been really surprised to think back on how many times in my life this has manifested itself! Before I lose you with all this hippy-dippy good-vibes-only mumbo jumbo, let me tell you: I'm just starting this journey, but I already can tell a difference in my life the more I understand and the more I apply this newfound knowledge to my daily life. I'm happier/more content/more accepting and feeling more grateful for all the blessings around me. It's crazy how this change in mindset has had such a far-reaching impact in my mind.
Probably the biggest realization for me so far is how the Law of Attraction applies to money. Like I said, I've always been very lucky and blessed to have the money I need, but for some reason it was never "enough" to me. As a result, the concept of money became "unattainable" in my mind, and we found ourselves constantly feeling a financial "struggle". We are smart people, and we've been prioritizing all the right things, like setting aside for savings and emergencies, not spending above our means, etc. We have no debt (except for our house, for now). We're big Dave Ramsey advocates. And we still constantly felt "poor". Every little purchase that wasn't built-in to our highly-itemized budget felt like an inconvenience and was something that caused me to worry (just a little) about how the budget would balance out. And I think that some sub-conscious part of me was so deeply rooted in this "poor status" mentality that it was keeping us from more money. Like I'd feel guilty and disbelieving that I could ever have enough because then I wouldn't be "poor struggling college students just out of college" and that had become my identity.
Over the past few months, learning about this Law of Attraction business, I've realized just how often I was putting out the vibe that money was scarce, and money continued to be more scarce. When you continually send out the desire for something into the universe, the universe will give you back more of a reason to desire that thing. For me, this was "lack of money". I wanted for more, so the universe kept giving me more want. We still had enough, because we were being smart with our planning and consuming. But I still found myself fretting about just when we'd get to the point where it was no longer a struggle, and I could actually buy new furniture or have a clothing budget or take our kids to Disneyland.
You always hear, "It's not about the destination; it's about the journey", but have you really applied that to any part of your life? It's a nice sentiment about being satisfied with what you have, but I realized I was really missing out by not applying it to our financial situation. I chose to open myself up to receiving money and not feeling guilty about spending it on a non-necessity. I bought a $250 dresser. I bought an $18 dress, on a whim, without specifically setting aside Rachel money at the beginning of the month for me to use at my discretion. I just walked into a store and bought it because I wanted it and it made me happy. We planned A TRIP TO DISNEYLAND for just the four of us (yes, I'm freaking stoked, thanks for asking). And guess what? Our budget looks and feels exactly the same. We're not racking up credit card debt; we still have the money set aside for the things we need and to send to savings. We even started investing in our retirement (just a little bit each month, but it's the baby step to get us there).
I know it sounds crazy, but all these purchases I just mentioned would have easily and QUICKLY sent me reeling even just four months ago. If you know me at all, you know that I. Am. A. PLANNER. I had my boys' September birthday party planned by June last year. I keep a schedule on my phone that's in a Note and not on my Calendar app because the Calendar app doesn't give me all the capabilities that I want when planning out days, weeks, and months into the future. I don't function spontaneously, ever.
As I started to view money as more of an energy and opening myself up to receive it through working hard and following my passion, it's become more of a blessing and an opportunity than a source of stress. I truly believe that our decisions to do more things as a family and to actually be real, honest-to-goodness consumers of society have benefitted us mentally and emotionally, and miraculously, they haven't impacted our financial status. I 100% believe that that's due to the Law of Attraction. When we spend money, we're sending out the message that we are financially stable, because we're communicating that we believe we have the money to spend on non-necessities. The universe responds in kind by delivering more financial stability. Not more money (but that would be pretty magical). But more confidence in our money, more confidence in our situation, and more joy as we feel the freedom to spend that money on things that make us happy.
Now, I'm not trying to indoctrinate you into a new religion. This post is 90% me trying to therapeutically write about some good juju that I've experienced lately and 10% me trying to get you to learn about the Law of Attraction for yourself. I totally believe in it, and you might too if you wanted to reflect on how this applies to your own life.
Oh yeah, and we bought a truck today. We got our tax return on Thursday, we've been sharing a car since the beginning of January, and Josh found the perfect dream pick-up that's he's been wanting his whole life (read: since about Friday morning), so you could say things just kind of lined up. Slash I desperately wanted my Santa Fe back during the day. But it was just so great to walk into there and put down a few grand and think "I'm giving this money such a huge beneficial purpose that will bring both of us a ton of satisfaction and happiness" rather than "This money could be used for so many other purposes".
I feel like I'm at a turning point. And I just wanted to share.